Me and my stupid mind again

I´m feeling alone (but I know I'm not) and complety empty.
I can't explain in other way.

I have no really dreams, targets or goals.

OK. I hope marry my boyfriend and have kids. I hope to be able to get a "good" and more stable job (in a country with higher unemployed people).
I try every day doing my best in my tasks, it doesn't mean I'm an expert.

But it´s not enough. I need a real goal. I need to use my mind. I'm not stronger enough.

Note 1: I´m sorry about my English, I´m improving it.
Note 2 : Nino, we don't know what's hapennig with you (you could suffer) we only can pray to "Our Lady of Fatima" for you. Sorry you, 5 days in hospital and probably it will be more :(

HOPE

I hope you get better soon. I love you.
So many drugs for one person...

What kind of disease I have, Nino?

I thought I had an schizoid personality... untill my psychiatrist asked me yesterday "asperger, no?".
Boried and angry I answered "no". Some hesitation after, but I said immediatly "no".~

I explained my symptoms and my mind fight. He changed me some prescription and said me to do more clinical tests and sessions psycology.

I didn't know what was this disease, I had a complete wrong ideia about (smart people who are not able to communicate "normally" only that sympotms).

Now, I'm thinking I have Asperger Syndrome. Do you believe, Nino?
I´m not so smart as well, but I see myself in three phases of Asperger. It was happened with me and still happens!

Whatever disease I have I know how to control. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.
Thank you Nino for everything.

I hope you get better soon. Say to mom how to help you (talk with her mind, please?), she's always with you for everything.

Do you notice, Nino? Mom have not one deficient son (stupid virus in your brain) but two children. Life is really hard from our mom, wasn't it?

Stupid mind

Accept

Hello Nino!

I hope you don't have mental or physical pain, we don't know what we can more do for you. Mom tries everything you know. I'm far far away from you I only make calls.

I'm trying get my life according "the less you care the happier will be". Do you know how I'm a worried person. 

I was angry with a friend because their attitude with me. But i'm so ingenuous I answer her in angry mood, sayed what I thought exactly. 

No one match going to beach with her car, last day at almost 11 p.m. . I invited another college to go. In d-day "i don't know if I can"... and no more one answer after calling her. 

One other collegue said me long time ago she dismatch everything in last minute because a guy or other plans she thought more interesting.

She helped me during hard time in my life, and I respected her by her attitude unexpected. But she is always like that... unexpect character!

I have to accept it! 

PS: We don't agree with x, y, z situations but we have to accept it, doesn't matter if the other is boyfriend, friend, collegue, family, boss, and so on. Accept and lead with it. Sometimes, when we react, mainly with proud character, the answer is the end point. 

Hello Nino.

Today I would like to say you, my little angel, I'm feeeling weak.
I need your protection and your illuminate.

Take care of mom, godfather and the rest of family.
Tanks again!

I want hug you so much.

(This photo from Amber Family remeber us)

Learning.

I need to improve my communications skills.

Smiling, laughing and talking with true happiness.
I'm trying  to learn how I could lead with problems looking at them like opportunities and the positive side.

Sometimes, my brain turn off and there's no energy everywhere I look.

I hope accept my personality and create my goals' life. Everyday.

CRY

I need it.

Life isn't easy. 

Everyday I'm a depressed person. 

I feel really alone, but it's my stupid mind and my stupid ideas.

I want to do many things but I'm not able to wake up, to be strong.

I have a really weak personality and I can't change it.